Admitting My Limitations

I am childless-more by choice than any-other-life-decision...I had the pleasure of babysitting my two nieces last night! They are Five and Three. We had a wonderful time.  I now remember why, I am child-less! They are exhausting, these little people ---called children.

I have a very hard time Sleeping. Rather obtaining sleep. Usually around 3 a.m. I am fall asleep and sleep like the DEAD, other nights I am AWAKE...with insomnia. The Sleep Specialist I have calls my sleep problems, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. I call it the inability to SLEEP. Let me remind you that I have a full-time job, that requires productive thinking and active involvement, most days, before eight  (8) a.m. And I have thirty minute drive. So having this "disorder"--- totally blows. Since, my body finally falls into good sleep around 3 or 4 a.m. and my alarm clock --is screaming at me to get up about 6 a.m. Not a lot of good-restful sleep. However, I try to catch up on the weekends, with my sleep!! I am learning to live with Delayed Sleep Phase--I have no other choice. I can't just turn my life upside down and became a vampire!

Well last night, after baby-sitting for six hours. Chasing small children around the house, playing house, watching movies, making dinner, bath time, snack time, picking up toys, and finally putting them to bed. I was exhausted. When I got home, I crashed and sleep from midnight straight through to eight this morning. I was tired.

Decision: I need children!

Oh wait--my decision (s) not to have children: their expensive, they require lots of attention, their messy, and sticky, you need babysitters when you want to vacation or work (unless you want them with you), I am very selfish person--and don't have the patience for small children (24 hours a day/7 days a week--my job is very demanding and mentally draining--I'm mush when I come home--and would be giving my child "left-overs" from a very hard/draining day, which is unfair). I don't want to be a single parent--ever. My prior/current health conditions and prior treatments may have left me with defective eggs--Maybe?

I enjoy being an Aunt, I can spend time with my nieces, and return to my peaceful life.

I could list additional reasons why motherhood, and child-raising should be left up to other people.

 I believe that parents "to be" or "parents considering" the idea, should really want children before bringing them into the world. Their decision, should not be based on the next logical step in "their" relationship, or because they are feeling pressure to have children from family members.

Children require lots of time and attention (aside from money). Creating a child is fun and easy! The raising them--Correctly (as productive, activity citizens) is the hardest part (another reason why I have chosen not to embark on parenthood). Plopping children in front of the television is not parenting, tossing microwavable meals in the microwave --is not parenting, and sending your child to daycare 10-12 hours a day is not parenting. Motherhood and parenting is more than just creating offspring! Motherhood and parenting take time and patience--lots and lots of time and patience. (I lurk around different blogs, Superhero, AliEdward, Dooce, in which they one of their many themes, to parenting- they talk about the joys of parenting and the challenges). My decision not to have children, is a decision I wrestle with everyday--because I know my limitations.

Knowing your limitations as an individual, children are totally cool--however just not my thing, is perfectly OKAY. 

Society has convince us that we must reproduce otherwise we are defective and not contributing. 

I am not defective. And I am contributing, by not reproducing (at least at this time in my life).