Long Time

It has been a long time since I was here last--like over a month..yeek!

I am experiencing an internal debate.

Should I or shouldn't I close the blog. I journal nightly about how I am feeling, my personal progress and find it time consuming to make another entry.

I will attempt--to make an effort daily to write here, again. However I can't promise anything.

And after awhile, I will decide what the next step is.

Increasing Traffic?

Feeling a-l-o-n-e!

Feeling all alone in the blog/writing world.

Blog writing, is tough stuff. When I started, I started with the intension of "education". Then I diverted slightly from education to discussion about my debt and everyday life. I still try to educate, via discussion, through self-reflection, and questions.

However...my writing feels more like a journal that nobody reads.

I spend time pinging my blog.

I spending time researching ways to increase my traffic. I tried (for a minute and might return to the idea of affiliate programs. Affiliate Programs require a ton of research and time--which I don't have). I am not frustrated, not yet.

Increasing traffic has been a long and difficult process, and continues to be difficult. For the readers that I do have-Thank You for returning. For those who are considering, whether to stick around...it's really not that bad of a place--I talk about a variety of things-from Social Security, to Student Loans, to Taxes, Credit Card Debt, Debt Reduction, Life, and many more interesting things.

Feeling alone. Feeling like I am writing, to myself and purchased the most expense journal around, rather than the Mead graph journal, that I use...worst part is --I  might not be able to kept the content when I cancel my membership.

Even if my traffic does not increase into the hundred thousand rankings, and people don't recommend my blog to others, I will continue to write. I like writing. I like the glaring white screen looking at me, with the blinking curser...just waiting for words to be typed. It scares me...and that feels weird.

Good, weird.

Until then, 

I am typing...my words. Waiting for my traffic to increase...until then thanks for those who are reading.

Paying bills, again

Tonight...I spent some more time paying bills--again.

A little extra money came in the house and I decided not to spend the money on clothes for work, or make-up, or a new area rug! Rather I spent the money on my DEBT.

It's all about Debt Reduction.

So $450.00 in Debt Reduction. Awesome. I am going to try and squeeze out another $250.00 early March...I want to get through month.

Another a slightly different topic:

I have a friend that recently married after "knowing" the gentleman for about two years. And in conversation she mentioned that she recently discovered his surmounting CREDIT CARD DEBT! Not just the amount, but the number of credit(s), each cards interest rate(s), and amount owed. A little back- story here, she has lived with him, she bought a house, she married him, all not being aware of the amount of debt he had?

Side bar: I remember a recent ex, who lived with me--and he did not contribute, which I should of demanded more from him. However, I was aware of the credit card debt. I was aware of the past/present foreclosure(s), and past bankruptcy. I was aware of the credit card use, and bills. What I was not aware of ...is my ex's inability to pay bills, period! At least I was aware, more than I can say about my friend.

I question how somebody can be involved with a person for almost two years, and not know their Debt to Income Ratio? Get Hitched, Buy a House,  Want Children with them and not know if their spouse can handle money! Or if they are drowning in debt and super-high interest rates!

I also want to know why VERY SMART GIRLS get stupid after they marry? Why is it that after the ring is put on the finger --the girl, trust every single word, thought, concept that her husband breaths. Why? When these women lived alone and made decision by themselves, before their marrages...now they can't make a decision to save their own life--unless they consult their husband? 

I don't understand that metaphorisis at all!?

Admitting My Limitations

I am childless-more by choice than any-other-life-decision...I had the pleasure of babysitting my two nieces last night! They are Five and Three. We had a wonderful time.  I now remember why, I am child-less! They are exhausting, these little people ---called children.

I have a very hard time Sleeping. Rather obtaining sleep. Usually around 3 a.m. I am fall asleep and sleep like the DEAD, other nights I am AWAKE...with insomnia. The Sleep Specialist I have calls my sleep problems, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. I call it the inability to SLEEP. Let me remind you that I have a full-time job, that requires productive thinking and active involvement, most days, before eight  (8) a.m. And I have thirty minute drive. So having this "disorder"--- totally blows. Since, my body finally falls into good sleep around 3 or 4 a.m. and my alarm clock --is screaming at me to get up about 6 a.m. Not a lot of good-restful sleep. However, I try to catch up on the weekends, with my sleep!! I am learning to live with Delayed Sleep Phase--I have no other choice. I can't just turn my life upside down and became a vampire!

Well last night, after baby-sitting for six hours. Chasing small children around the house, playing house, watching movies, making dinner, bath time, snack time, picking up toys, and finally putting them to bed. I was exhausted. When I got home, I crashed and sleep from midnight straight through to eight this morning. I was tired.

Decision: I need children!

Oh wait--my decision (s) not to have children: their expensive, they require lots of attention, their messy, and sticky, you need babysitters when you want to vacation or work (unless you want them with you), I am very selfish person--and don't have the patience for small children (24 hours a day/7 days a week--my job is very demanding and mentally draining--I'm mush when I come home--and would be giving my child "left-overs" from a very hard/draining day, which is unfair). I don't want to be a single parent--ever. My prior/current health conditions and prior treatments may have left me with defective eggs--Maybe?

I enjoy being an Aunt, I can spend time with my nieces, and return to my peaceful life.

I could list additional reasons why motherhood, and child-raising should be left up to other people.

 I believe that parents "to be" or "parents considering" the idea, should really want children before bringing them into the world. Their decision, should not be based on the next logical step in "their" relationship, or because they are feeling pressure to have children from family members.

Children require lots of time and attention (aside from money). Creating a child is fun and easy! The raising them--Correctly (as productive, activity citizens) is the hardest part (another reason why I have chosen not to embark on parenthood). Plopping children in front of the television is not parenting, tossing microwavable meals in the microwave --is not parenting, and sending your child to daycare 10-12 hours a day is not parenting. Motherhood and parenting is more than just creating offspring! Motherhood and parenting take time and patience--lots and lots of time and patience. (I lurk around different blogs, Superhero, AliEdward, Dooce, in which they one of their many themes, to parenting- they talk about the joys of parenting and the challenges). My decision not to have children, is a decision I wrestle with everyday--because I know my limitations.

Knowing your limitations as an individual, children are totally cool--however just not my thing, is perfectly OKAY. 

Society has convince us that we must reproduce otherwise we are defective and not contributing. 

I am not defective. And I am contributing, by not reproducing (at least at this time in my life).

Student Loans

If you have been reading this blog or even glancing at it, you already know that I have Student Loans that amount to $80,000.00. I have a reasonable interest rate and a manageable monthly payment.

I say the above statements because I am gainfully employed.

I say the above statements because I am capable of repaying my student loan, monthly, and understand that I responsible for this loan. That I responsible for the money that I borrowed years ago to obtain my education. The education that allows me to earn the income I earn today, and live the lifestyle I live today. However, I am not happy that as a single individual my Adjust Gross Income (AGI) next year will prevent me from taking my STUDENT LOAN INTEREST as a deduction. I am not happy, that over the last three years I pay more in INTEREST than the allowable DEDUCTION.

So to reduce the amount of interest (%) I pay, yearly. I decided to start automatic withdrawal from my checking account. I prefer to pay my bills directly. I don't like companies to reach their grubby little hands into my account and take their money. I like to "release" my money to those grubby little companies, on my own terms. LIKE WHEN I FEEL LIKE PAYING...before the due date or on the due date.

I digress. With automatic withdrawal I should be able to obtain an interest rate reduction, immediately. And then an additional one after so many months of them TAKING my money. Well, I could not confirm this information on the website. So I call Customer Service and below is my interaction with the girl who I could barely understand:

"I am calling for additional inforamtion on Checkmate. I would like to know if I enroll do I receive an interest reduction now, and another after a duration of time?"

"Well. You do qualify. However your interest rate is already low. So. Your interest rate would not be reduced if you enrolled." said the Customer Service Girl.

I was puzzled!? "You said I do qualify."

"Yes."

"Yet, because my interest rate is already low, 3.5%, I will not receive another reduction?"

"That's right."

I was really not puzzled anymore, I realized I was talking to miss underwhelmed with her job. "Why don't you put me on hold, and ask your manager if what you are telling me correct. I owe $80K, and true 3.5% is low however it's not low enough...when your talking about $80,000.00. Moreover, establishing automatic withdrawal requires some advanced planning on my part, and I want the efforts to be rewarding in an interest rate reduction."

She put me on hold, returned several long moments later. "You do qualify for interest rate reduction of .25% when you enroll and then there will be another reduction of 1%."

"When will the 1% reduction be effective? 24 months, later?"

She mumbled something I could not understand, and then said, "36 months, is there anything else?"

"No, that will be it."

So I am working on enrolling myself in the automatic withdrawal program for my student loans. I will have an immediate interest rate reduction of of .25%, that will reduce my 3.50% to 3.25% (not much but enough to make it worth the time and energy). Aside from this interest rate reduction, I will also receive another rate reduction at some point of at least 1%. Taking me to 2.25%.

Now the other issue that I am CONFUSED ABOUT in capialized interest.

I am getting hit with more capitalized interest, that what I pay yearly. FRUSTRATING! How is that possible? Time for research!