your inept ability to successfully do your job,

take actions, appear that I am dealing with the Peter Principle.

Your words make you appear stupid.

Is the Peter Principle at fault - for your imperfection(s), and inactions…rather your lack of actions.

OR...maybe

Your stupidity may also be the culprit…

Therefore I ask: Is it your "STUPIDITY OR IS IT THE PETER PRINCIPLE"…I am navigating?

I am want to write the questions --the mind boggling questions that cross my mind while:

• driving
• standing in line at the grocery store
• working with clients
• listening to my boss rave/rant about "something"...
• wondering what is "really" going through my partners mind (during a fight, conversation, sex etc)
• and other un-defined moments during the day

99% of the time I don't have the courage to actually speak or say my thoughts out-loud. Most of the time the questions I have my be considered ininappropriate for the conversation, rude, or misdirected. I am not socially inept...otherwise I would ask. I understand the rules of social behavior...therefore this is going to be my safe heaven to ask questions. To say what I think- OUTLOUD.

My Voice Is...here!!!

(Beware: sometimes my questions are not pleasant. Sometimes my thoughts are political and sometimes my questions are funny)!

You are welcome to share your questions...and your thoughts too.

Since I have been away from my blog, I have had time to reflect and ponder. However, all that reflecting and pondering has not provided any motivation to write.

This is only update: I am ALIVE and will attempt to pour more attention into my ideas and goals here, in the coming weeks and months now that I have "control" on my condition. At least for now.

Maybe in TIME...when I better understand my feelings and my experiences regarding what I have gone through and been through these past several months--- I will write and be more refletive. Until then, this is what you have...an UPDATE!

PS I did try an upload photo's and well I guess I need to "struggle with that part of this program to make me a better person" because I just don't understand, the process. HMMM and GRRR--when I understand I will upload some photo's I have been taking this summer.

Talk to you soon....

What is my new purpose?

As you can tell in the heading, I have $80K in student loan debt (which if you read prior entries) you will see that I have mentioned them before...nonetheless...I am not using my education.

I am not using my skills.

I am not working in my field.

I feel that I am "wasting" away in the world of office space  (safe happy office space)! Yet, I have valuable information to provide to parents, students, teachers, etc...and I want to pass this information on....I went to school for sooo long, and paid so much for my education. I have decided that I need to spread my wealth of knowledge and information---for FREE. (Some information will have a small fee attached, for my time and energy to compose, and create--however majority of the information is/will be FREE).

I have decided that I am going to provided my skills, my knowledge, my abilities, that I spent $80K learning...giving to you---to you while you venture down your path.

If you path is going to be college, teaching your own children, teaching a classroom full of students, curious about what your next career should be...this is just the start.

Why because I am finding my...a purpose--even if I have full time career that is stable! I just believe that it's not my calling...and my calling is to....

This is just the start

Please check out the tabs at the top. Each tab will have a specific area of content that I will focus on!

Please be patient ---still under-construction as i redirect my attention to "my purpose"!

In the very near future this website will be AD FREE.

In the very near future this website will provide a wealth of information and direction for a variety of people using my skills, knowledge, and education ---for your own personal gain and growth.

In the very near future, this website will have a true purpose other than to explain what I ate for lunch or did yesterday afternoon.

You will see lots of changes, including heading changes  link changes, and content changes. Please stay with me for the ones who have continued to read, while I have (off-and-on) written a story, a thought, or an expression. For those of you who are new, please understand--that I have struggled to find my place, my purpose in life-in writing, and in the blogging world. 

Right now, I don't need a place in the blog world, what I need is to enjoy my place in this world using my skills and my abilities, as well as my education! While helping you, educating you in specific areas--to be explained....later!

I may discuss some of the same topics discussed in the past, debt, credit, spending etc..however that will not be the focus. Because that is not my purpose or my purpose in LIFE!

Between the Words is changing format and purpose!!!!! I.E. UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

Stay Tuned....

I am experiencing an internal debate.

Should I or shouldn't I close the blog. I journal nightly about how I am feeling, my personal progress and find it time consuming to make another entry.

I will attempt--to make an effort daily to write here, again. However I can't promise anything.

And after awhile, I will decide what the next step is.

Feeling all alone in the blog/writing world.

Blog writing, is tough stuff. When I started, I started with the intension of "education". Then I diverted slightly from education to discussion about my debt and everyday life. I still try to educate, via discussion, through self-reflection, and questions.

However...my writing feels more like a journal that nobody reads.

I spend time pinging my blog.

I spending time researching ways to increase my traffic. I tried (for a minute and might return to the idea of affiliate programs. Affiliate Programs require a ton of research and time--which I don't have). I am not frustrated, not yet.

Increasing traffic has been a long and difficult process, and continues to be difficult. For the readers that I do have-Thank You for returning. For those who are considering, whether to stick around...it's really not that bad of a place--I talk about a variety of things-from Social Security, to Student Loans, to Taxes, Credit Card Debt, Debt Reduction, Life, and many more interesting things.

Feeling alone. Feeling like I am writing, to myself and purchased the most expense journal around, rather than the Mead graph journal, that I use...worst part is --I  might not be able to kept the content when I cancel my membership.

Even if my traffic does not increase into the hundred thousand rankings, and people don't recommend my blog to others, I will continue to write. I like writing. I like the glaring white screen looking at me, with the blinking curser...just waiting for words to be typed. It scares me...and that feels weird.

Good, weird.

Until then, 

I am typing...my words. Waiting for my traffic to increase...until then thanks for those who are reading.

A little extra money came in the house and I decided not to spend the money on clothes for work, or make-up, or a new area rug! Rather I spent the money on my DEBT.

It's all about Debt Reduction.

So $450.00 in Debt Reduction. Awesome. I am going to try and squeeze out another $250.00 early March...I want to get through month.

Another a slightly different topic:

I have a friend that recently married after "knowing" the gentleman for about two years. And in conversation she mentioned that she recently discovered his surmounting CREDIT CARD DEBT! Not just the amount, but the number of credit(s), each cards interest rate(s), and amount owed. A little back- story here, she has lived with him, she bought a house, she married him, all not being aware of the amount of debt he had?

Side bar: I remember a recent ex, who lived with me--and he did not contribute, which I should of demanded more from him. However, I was aware of the credit card debt. I was aware of the past/present foreclosure(s), and past bankruptcy. I was aware of the credit card use, and bills. What I was not aware of ...is my ex's inability to pay bills, period! At least I was aware, more than I can say about my friend.

I question how somebody can be involved with a person for almost two years, and not know their Debt to Income Ratio? Get Hitched, Buy a House,  Want Children with them and not know if their spouse can handle money! Or if they are drowning in debt and super-high interest rates!

I also want to know why VERY SMART GIRLS get stupid after they marry? Why is it that after the ring is put on the finger --the girl, trust every single word, thought, concept that her husband breaths. Why? When these women lived alone and made decision by themselves, before their marrages...now they can't make a decision to save their own life--unless they consult their husband? 

I don't understand that metaphorisis at all!?

I have a very hard time Sleeping. Rather obtaining sleep. Usually around 3 a.m. I am fall asleep and sleep like the DEAD, other nights I am AWAKE...with insomnia. The Sleep Specialist I have calls my sleep problems, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. I call it the inability to SLEEP. Let me remind you that I have a full-time job, that requires productive thinking and active involvement, most days, before eight  (8) a.m. And I have thirty minute drive. So having this "disorder"--- totally blows. Since, my body finally falls into good sleep around 3 or 4 a.m. and my alarm clock --is screaming at me to get up about 6 a.m. Not a lot of good-restful sleep. However, I try to catch up on the weekends, with my sleep!! I am learning to live with Delayed Sleep Phase--I have no other choice. I can't just turn my life upside down and became a vampire!

Well last night, after baby-sitting for six hours. Chasing small children around the house, playing house, watching movies, making dinner, bath time, snack time, picking up toys, and finally putting them to bed. I was exhausted. When I got home, I crashed and sleep from midnight straight through to eight this morning. I was tired.

Decision: I need children!

Oh wait--my decision (s) not to have children: their expensive, they require lots of attention, their messy, and sticky, you need babysitters when you want to vacation or work (unless you want them with you), I am very selfish person--and don't have the patience for small children (24 hours a day/7 days a week--my job is very demanding and mentally draining--I'm mush when I come home--and would be giving my child "left-overs" from a very hard/draining day, which is unfair). I don't want to be a single parent--ever. My prior/current health conditions and prior treatments may have left me with defective eggs--Maybe?

I enjoy being an Aunt, I can spend time with my nieces, and return to my peaceful life.

I could list additional reasons why motherhood, and child-raising should be left up to other people.

 I believe that parents "to be" or "parents considering" the idea, should really want children before bringing them into the world. Their decision, should not be based on the next logical step in "their" relationship, or because they are feeling pressure to have children from family members.

Children require lots of time and attention (aside from money). Creating a child is fun and easy! The raising them--Correctly (as productive, activity citizens) is the hardest part (another reason why I have chosen not to embark on parenthood). Plopping children in front of the television is not parenting, tossing microwavable meals in the microwave --is not parenting, and sending your child to daycare 10-12 hours a day is not parenting. Motherhood and parenting is more than just creating offspring! Motherhood and parenting take time and patience--lots and lots of time and patience. (I lurk around different blogs, Superhero, AliEdward, Dooce, in which they one of their many themes, to parenting- they talk about the joys of parenting and the challenges). My decision not to have children, is a decision I wrestle with everyday--because I know my limitations.

Knowing your limitations as an individual, children are totally cool--however just not my thing, is perfectly OKAY. 

Society has convince us that we must reproduce otherwise we are defective and not contributing. 

I am not defective. And I am contributing, by not reproducing (at least at this time in my life).

I say the above statements because I am gainfully employed.

I say the above statements because I am capable of repaying my student loan, monthly, and understand that I responsible for this loan. That I responsible for the money that I borrowed years ago to obtain my education. The education that allows me to earn the income I earn today, and live the lifestyle I live today. However, I am not happy that as a single individual my Adjust Gross Income (AGI) next year will prevent me from taking my STUDENT LOAN INTEREST as a deduction. I am not happy, that over the last three years I pay more in INTEREST than the allowable DEDUCTION.

So to reduce the amount of interest (%) I pay, yearly. I decided to start automatic withdrawal from my checking account. I prefer to pay my bills directly. I don't like companies to reach their grubby little hands into my account and take their money. I like to "release" my money to those grubby little companies, on my own terms. LIKE WHEN I FEEL LIKE PAYING...before the due date or on the due date.

I digress. With automatic withdrawal I should be able to obtain an interest rate reduction, immediately. And then an additional one after so many months of them TAKING my money. Well, I could not confirm this information on the website. So I call Customer Service and below is my interaction with the girl who I could barely understand:

"I am calling for additional inforamtion on Checkmate. I would like to know if I enroll do I receive an interest reduction now, and another after a duration of time?"

"Well. You do qualify. However your interest rate is already low. So. Your interest rate would not be reduced if you enrolled." said the Customer Service Girl.

I was puzzled!? "You said I do qualify."

"Yes."

"Yet, because my interest rate is already low, 3.5%, I will not receive another reduction?"

"That's right."

I was really not puzzled anymore, I realized I was talking to miss underwhelmed with her job. "Why don't you put me on hold, and ask your manager if what you are telling me correct. I owe $80K, and true 3.5% is low however it's not low enough...when your talking about $80,000.00. Moreover, establishing automatic withdrawal requires some advanced planning on my part, and I want the efforts to be rewarding in an interest rate reduction."

She put me on hold, returned several long moments later. "You do qualify for interest rate reduction of .25% when you enroll and then there will be another reduction of 1%."

"When will the 1% reduction be effective? 24 months, later?"

She mumbled something I could not understand, and then said, "36 months, is there anything else?"

"No, that will be it."

So I am working on enrolling myself in the automatic withdrawal program for my student loans. I will have an immediate interest rate reduction of of .25%, that will reduce my 3.50% to 3.25% (not much but enough to make it worth the time and energy). Aside from this interest rate reduction, I will also receive another rate reduction at some point of at least 1%. Taking me to 2.25%.

Now the other issue that I am CONFUSED ABOUT in capialized interest.

I am getting hit with more capitalized interest, that what I pay yearly. FRUSTRATING! How is that possible? Time for research!